Sometimes they mean it and sometimes they don’t — and there’s no way to know which in advance. For some of you, this will be an easy decision: take the person at their word, and if they end up getting mad at you, well, that’s their problem for not saying what they really wanted. Others will take a more nuanced view of the situation, recognizing that people can be shy about expressing their wishes. That isn’t always easy to deal with, but it can be understandable in certain situations. Birthdays are supposed to be celebratory, however, and confusion isn’t fun for anyone.